Pre-order is over!

Posted in Uncategorized on April 17, 2011 by Chris Bowsman

All copies are now GONE!!!!! Thanks to everyone who pre-ordered!

I’m working on the flash fiction pieces for each book now and will be shipping them out as soon as they’re finished.

A LIFE ON FIRE Pre-orders! Yay!

Posted in Uncategorized on April 1, 2011 by Chris Bowsman

It seems fitting (and a little douchey) that my first blog post in like four months finds me asking for money. However, should you decide to give me money, you will get something in return for it. My book A LIFE ON FIRE is now up for pre-order.

Why should you pre-order?

If you order between now and April 30, I will include cool freebies. What type of freebies? I’m not sure yet. However, I assure you they will be cool. Also, if you’d like it autographed or doodled-in, I’m more than happy to do that, too.

Not enough incentive? The first few pre-orders will get an exclusive flash-fiction story written in those weird blank pages at the end of the book. Length of the stories will vary, but the only place each story will exist is in that particular copy of the book.

So, if any of that sounds like it’s worth plunking down some money, feel free to send me $8.00 ($7.95 for the book, plus a 5-cent handling fee. If you’re outside the continental US, add $8. I’ll email you the ebook and other digital goodies to help offset the cost.) via paypal at chrisbowsman@gmail.com.

If you’re impatient like me and would like to read right away, mention in the paypal comment section that you’d like to read the book right away and I’ll send you a pdf.

For all you ebook readers out there who don’t want a print copy, the Kindle version will be released the same time as the paperback, and will be priced at $2.99, because I think $10 for an ebook is bullshit.

Zombie story

Posted in Uncategorized on November 13, 2010 by Chris Bowsman

I’ve now seen the first two episodes of The Walking Dead, and it seems like a perfect time to publish this little flash piece:

Zombie Story

“Brains…” moans the zombie on my television. I change the channel. Another zombie. I sigh heavily and walk over to the collection of DVDs: Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Let Sleeping Corpses Lie, Resident Evil… nothing but fucking movies about zombies.

“I watch too damn much TV, anyway,” I say, and turn to the bookshelf. Again, nothing but zombie titles, which is strange, because I don’t even remember buying books about zombies.

There is a crash upstairs, so I go up to investigate. It sounded like it came from my son’s room. I knock on his door, which is only half closed. I look in, and see him stumbling around, knocking things off his shelf. He turns to face me, and I’m a little surprised to see his skin has turned gray. I look closer and notice his eyes aren’t focused together, and his jaw is hanging slack. One of his ears is missing as well.

“Are you a zombie?” I ask. He moans and stumbles towards me. Uncertain of what to do, I exit the room and shut the door, which he tries to walk through. When he does it again, I decide closing the door is sufficient defense. I look around for my wife, as she normally knows much more than I about what’s going on around our home.

“Honey?” I say, raising my voice a little. “Did you know Junior is a zombie?” I hear another crash downstairs, and have a bad feeling about it. I call for my wife again, and again I receive no response.

Descending the stairs slowly, it occurs to me I should find some sort of weapon. I reach the bottom, and look around the room, and decide upon a fireplace poker. There is another crash, this time I can tell it’s coming from the office. I raise my eyebrow and the poker and head for the office.

“Honey?” I say again, this time with more apprehension. My wife stumbles from the office with the same slackened expression on her face as Junior’s. I say her name, but there is no visible response from her. She merely keeps shuffling toward me, step-drag, step-drag. I turn and run, closing as many doors as possible on my way out of the house.

Once I’m outside, I hear more moaning and crashing. Looking around, I see that everyone in the neighborhood has become a zombie. Zombies to the left, zombies to the right… everywhere I look, nothing but zombies, zombies, and more fucking zombies. Unable to stomach another second of the horror, I stab myself in the face with the fireplace poker, dying instantly.

Bradley Sands Interview

Posted in Uncategorized on October 18, 2010 by Chris Bowsman

A long time ago, I read Bradley Sands’s book It Came From Below The Belt. Afterward, I emailed him, told him I enjoyed it, and asked if he’d like to do an interview. He said yes. A long time later, I made up some questions and sent them to him. He answered them. Skip forward a long time, and I’m now publishing those answers.

Bradley has another book, Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy that just came out, and is not mentioned in the interview. I haven’t read it yet, but if it’s like the others, it’s funny and worth your time.

Also, Bradley is the editor of Bust Down The Door And Eat All The Chickens, an absurdist journal, home to many stories by awesome bizarro authors. Check it out, and also visit Bradley’s website.

Now, without further delay, on to the interview:

What kind of computer do you use?

It’s a PC laptop. The alt key on the left side is missing. I need to hit the spacebar really hard to make it work. It overheats a lot. I think I need to take it into the shop.

What is your favorite movie, book, and beer? Least favorite?

Once Upon a Time in America.

Favorite book is a tough one. I really like Steve Aylett’s Accomplice Series, so maybe the first book in the series: Only an Alligator. And maybe all of Steve Erickson’s novels besides Zeroville (because they seem like a long novel to when combined together).

My favorite beer is Raspberry Wheat, which they have at two pub/brewery kind of places in Boulder, Colorado: Mountain Sun and Southern Sun. Unfortunately, I swore off beer a few days ago. This makes me very sad.

Least favorite movie and book is a tough one. I’ll just pick bad ones at random: The Room (I used to be a connoisseur of bad movies, but The Room isn’t fun to watch. It’s just a boring piece of shit.) And as for books: I don’t know. I rarely finish books I don’t like. I really didn’t like Tom Robbins’ B is for Beer (which I finished), while I’ve loved every other novel he has ever written.

Least favorite beer is easy. Pabst. I can’t stomach that garbage.

You have published two books: a novel, It Came From Below The Belt, and a short story collection, My Heart Said No, But The Camera Said YES! Do you prefer one form over the other?

At the moment, it seems like I’ve forgotten how to write shorts stories because it’s been a long time since I’ve written anything besides novellas and prose poems, so I guess I prefer novels. It’s exciting to work on a story for a long period of time and I find it difficult to attain the same level of enthusiasm for shorter pieces of writing, unless I can write them in one sitting.

It could be said that one of the main characters in It Came From Below The Belt, Adolf Hitler reincarnated as a sentient penis, pushes the boundaries of tastefulness. What are your feelings on good taste and Nazi penises?

I think I can pretty much get away with it because I’m Jewish. But I think one of the best ways to combat tragedy is to make fun of it.

You have described your writing in the two aforementioned books as “busy.” Your prose is full of wordplay like “peanutbutterfly nets” and packed with odd imagery. Does this style come easily?

No way! Actually, I think I forgot how to write that way as well (my first two books were written years ago). Back then, I would work on my stories, sentence by sentence, and rewrite each one until it was near perfect. Sometimes it took me about an hour to write a sentence.

Do you have any interest in writing more “conventional,” plot-driven fiction?

Yes. I’ve been doing this for a while, although the content is unconventional. My novella, Cheesequake Smash-up (which appears in the Bizarro Starter Kit (Blue), is an example of this. The majority of my future book releases will be like this, starting with the novel, TV Snorted My Brain, which Evil Nerd Empire is supposed to publish this year. I prefer writing this way (no more hours spent on one sentence!), but I don’t like the end product as much. But it is more accessible to the reader, so I suppose an easier writing process plus accessibility is better than a tough writing process and possible inaccessibility even though I don’t like the books as much. But I “do my own thing” more with my prose poems, which have become minimalist in style rather than “busy.”

D Harlan Wilson said that after all the time he’s spent in school with literature (both studying and teaching), he has trouble reading purely for pleasure. As someone who has spent a large amount of time in school, do you have this same problem?

No, not really, although I go through long periods of time where I’m unable to enjoy anything that I read. But I also go through long periods where I love nearly everything that I read. Anyway, I don’t know if I’ve spent a large amount of time in school. I’ve been in grad school for about a year, and there was an eight year gap between getting my Bachelor’s degree and starting grad school. And although I feel like I have to read too much for school (considering I’m a writing student, not a literature student, and I read a ton outside of school anyway), it’s not a lot of required reading.

Marvel or DC?

DC. I switch back and forth depending on what company Grant Morrison is writing for, but I’m not obsessed with his work like I used to be. Although I preferred Marvel when I was in elementary school and junior high. I feel like DC is more “adult.”

If you could give aspiring writers one piece of advice, what would it be?
 
Read lots of good books.
 
Advice for experienced authors?
 
You should probably quit writing unless your name is Steve or some variation of it. Same thing if your name isn’t Bradley.

3 months without a post?

Posted in Uncategorized on October 1, 2010 by Chris Bowsman

I’m obviously not very good at blogging. Or I haven’t had much to say. Anyway, awesome news. Next year sometime, I should have a book coming out. I’m obviously pretty excited about that.

I’ve read a bazillion things since my last update. Nearly all were great. I’ve watched a lot of shitty movies since then, but a few really good ones. Earlier this week, I bought an awesome limited edition Dark Knight dvd in a case that looks like Batman’s mask for $6. All in all, things are good.

Reading update

Posted in Uncategorized on June 21, 2010 by Chris Bowsman

I haven’t been keeping track of what I’m reading, but here are a few I’ve read recently:

My Fake War & Zerostrata – Andersen Prunty
Dr. Identity – D. Harlan Wilson
Night in the Lonesome October – Richard Laymon
Wall of Kiss – Gina Ranalli
King Scratch – Jordan Krall
Closet Treats – Paul Cooley
Pulse – Jeremy Robinson
LIVINHELL & Doom! Magnetic – William Pauley III

I usually have two books going at a time; one on my iPod and one real one. Right now, the two are Sideshow PI by Nathaniel Lambert (digital) and Under the Dome by Stephen King.

Bizarro Spaghetti Dinner

Posted in Uncategorized on April 16, 2010 by Chris Bowsman

If you like spaghetti and Bizarro fiction, you should head over to Jordan Krall’s site. Jordan is trying to get people to buy his Bizarro Spaghetti western FISTFUL OF FEET today.

What? You’ve never heard of a Bizarro Spaghetti western, and not quite sure what it might be? Here’s an equation for the mathematically inclined folks:

So, go to Amazon, buy FISTFUL OF FEET, and maybe these guys won’t roll in and fuck up your town: